This Christmas is giving me a felling of nostalgia and desolation. It is about mourning my sense of brotherhood with the world. Where is it? Why do so few care? or am I wrong (I hope I am) and is it just that those who do something just aren't in the spotlights? I feel a strong pain in my chest thinking of all those who have passed away this year, both those magnificent people I knew personally and who have left their unfillable empty spaces, and all those who were tragically lost one way or another out there in the world. My heart aches. What do we, spectators of these horrors, do? Are we really making an effort to transform the World? I can't seem to find the inspiration, I can't find the words. So many little things get in the way. They take the spark away. Then, so many little things light the spark again. They warm my heart. I saw a little lady the other day in the bank - a local man proudly told me she was nearly 100 years old, and "look at her she is so fit, and a beautiful lady at that", and she coquettishly retorted "I'm not 100 I'm only 97!" - and then went on to tell me the town was going to organize a big party for her 100th and that she couldn't wait. Yes, that brought a smile to my face and warmth in my heart. I suppose Christmas always brings about that drama of compulsory goodness, of smiley children of happy Chrismas carols. So, enough ranting! Let me shift this weary shadow of pitiful hollowness and get ready to make that difference, hoping that the new year will bring the motivation and enthusiasm I yearn.